Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
