I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
She's not a foreskin expert like you
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
