Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
