how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I need moral support for this bender
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
