There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
