OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Randomize
