Quick, to the slutcave!
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
