I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I've blown a few things in my day
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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