So drunk its hurt
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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