Christians are straight up FREAKS
I got chris browned last night
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
