Whod you bang
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
