I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I could make wine with my vomit
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
