I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
