You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Sacagawea was the original milf.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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