dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
