There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Someone shattered a urinal.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
