I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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