You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
it glows. i had to have it.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
