so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Found your dick twin last night
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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