Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
