Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You have to summon your inner elephant
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
