Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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