How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
