I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
