Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
