I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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