i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
