HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
