I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
