yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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