he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Randomize
