I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
