I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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