Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I have fence marks all over my body
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
