it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
We need to get me chipped asap
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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