dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
