Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Randomize
