i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
