garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
