yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
