woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
