When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize