You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
