he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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