do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
