I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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