if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
