I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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