Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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