Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
