I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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