do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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