somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Randomize
