That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
