God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
