I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
