Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
