We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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