I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
