We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
