Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
