am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
