Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
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