This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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